OMG. Do I really get to write this and it will be like published? On the Internet? That’s amazing.
About me. As you can see from my profile picture, I’m totally focused on image, and I’m kind of shallow. Basically, growing up I loved to party and had little respect for like, humanity, or more specifically the law. (Shout out to all my bros in HM Prison Pentonville — daddy ain’t forgot you… As will as some special ladies in HM Prison Holloway — you know who you are… Hit me up when you get out).
The biggest change in my life came when I discovered that I could use the addiction counseling and rehab industry to feed my ego, and make lots of money off the backs of unfortunate people facing actual crisis. I mean, you have to understand this, it was world changing. You see this horrible outfit I’m wearing in this photo? Well I was at some dipshit friend of a friend’s wedding and I think I look hot in this photo. Speaking of which, all you single (and non-single, that ain’t no thing by me) ladies, check out my dating profile:
Outside of work, I like taking long baths (here is trick I found: prepare a nice hot bath and fill it to the level so that just your erect bell-end sticks out of the water. Then, tear the wings of a fly and place it on your protruding helmet. Since they cannot swim, and no longer fly, they will just run circles on your dick until you achieve orgasmic climax).
I look forward to organizing a probably illegal, but definitely amoral therapy plan for you.