Addiction Help for a Loved One

Supporting Someone with Addiction Without Losing Yourself Along the Way

When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it can feel like you’re carrying the weight of two lives. You want to help them, but you don’t know how. You want them to get better, but you’re not sure they even see the problem.

At Abbington House, we support families, partners, and friends who are navigating this difficult path. Whether your loved one is ready for rehab, in denial or somewhere in between, this isn’t something you have to do alone.

Their Addiction Affects You Too

Addiction affects more than one person. It impacts the people closest to them emotionally, mentally and sometimes even physically.

You might be feeling:

• Helpless, watching them spiral but not knowing how to stop it
• Angry or resentful, after broken promises and repeated let-downs
• Confused, unsure what’s addiction and what’s choice
• Exhausted, trying to ‘manage’ it behind closed doors
• Scared of what might happen next, or how far things might go.

These feelings are completely valid, and they are not signs of weakness or failure. They show that you care deeply, but you deserve support too.

When Should You Reach Out?

You don’t need to wait for things to get worse before you seek help. In fact, the sooner you understand your options, the better prepared you’ll be for them and for yourself.

Common signs your loved one may need professional support:

• They’ve tried to quit drinking or using drugs, but can’t
• Their behaviour has changed (mood swings, secrecy, anger)
• They’ve withdrawn from friends, work, or family responsibilities
• You find yourself constantly worrying, watching, or ‘cleaning up’ after them
• You’re walking on eggshells more often than not
• You feel as though the person you once knew is completely different
• You are considering leaving them, but the pain of watching them suffer leaves you in a difficult position.

How We Can Help You and Them

Abbington House is a trauma-informed, private rehab centre based in Hertfordshire. We offer a safe, professional space where people can recover and families can find relief.

When you contact us, we can:

• Help you understand whether rehab is the right next step
• Talk you through how our programme works
• Guide you on how to approach a conversation with your loved one
• Support you emotionally, even if they’re not ready for help yet

We never pressure anyone into treatment. Trying to force someone into treatment is likely to yield little benefit, but we can offer the necessary guidance for putting in place important boundaries. This is just as much about protecting you as it is them.

How to Talk to Your Loved One About Rehab

We know how hard these conversations can be. That’s why we’re here to help you prepare for them.

Some helpful tips include:

• Choose the right time: Avoid high-stress or intoxicated moments
• Lead with concern, not accusation: e.g. “I’m worried about you” instead of “You need to stop”
• Offer information, not ultimatums: Let them know help is available – but avoid triggering defensiveness at this stage
• Focus on impact: Gently explain how it’s affecting you and others
• Have support in place: We can be that support if you need us.

> Learn about our admissions process

What If They Say No?

Not everyone is ready the first time the subject comes up or even the 50th time. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. And it doesn’t mean they’ll never change.

Often, just planting the seed gently and compassionately is enough to start the process.

You can still:

• Set boundaries to protect yourself
• Get emotional support from professionals
• Stay connected to us, so when they are ready, you know what to do next.

Our Promise to Families

At Abbington House, we never forget that addiction affects families too. That’s why we treat you with the same care, honesty, and respect that we offer to our residents.

Whether your loved one enters treatment with us or not, we will support you as you navigate this complex journey.

“It was a huge relief to speak to someone who actually listened. They didn’t push. They helped me understand what was happening and what I could do without losing myself.”

– Partner of a former resident.

You’re Not Alone in This

Supporting someone with addiction is hard. But you don’t have to carry that burden alone.

Let’s talk about what’s going on, what’s possible, and what help could look like.

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